Work Problems/Transcript
getting ready for work Buck: Well, better get off to the old grind. Karen: I thought you weren't working today? I really wanted to spend the day with YOU. Buck: That's okay, because I really wanted to NOT spend the day with you. Karen: But I got us tickets to the Banana Montana concert, your favorite. Buck: Oh... well I'm sure Mr. Baboon would understand if I took the day off. Karen: THIS WAS A TEST, AND YOU HAVE FAILED. These aren't tickets, they're the receipts for my donation to the Women Against Men Foundation. You just want to get away from me! Buck: Work is how I put bananas on the table, Karen, whether you like it or not. Or would you rather die of starvation? yyyyYUK yuk yuk. Karen: Everything's just a JOKE for you. You know what, I should be the one working. I am a powerful, independent woman and you can't stop me. Buck: Enough with the feminist rants. Women were made to stay at home and do whatever the crap you do. Karen: WOMEN BUILT THIS WORLD! Buck: I don't have time for this - I'm going to work. pouts SONG in traffic Buck: Morning Monisha. Monisha: Whatever. Gordon: Good morning Buck! What a lovely day it is. Buck: Well, it was. Gordon: A-aah? Ooh-kay. - Good news! Buck: Quiet Gordon. Just let me do my job... I have to concentrate so I can snag the Monkington sale... Gordon: Actually, Mr. Baboon gave me the sale. Buck: WHAT?! The Monkingtons are my biggest client! dialing phone Gordon: Hi! Mrs. Monkington: Hello? Who's this? Gordon: It's me, Gordon. Mrs. Monkington: ... OH! Gordon from Monkey's Pride, how are you? Gordon: Good! Mrs. Monkington: Are you calling to sell me bananas? Gordon: Ah -hah! is disgusted Mrs. Monkington: Such a good boy! I'll take fifty crates. Gordon: Otay! ... how do you spell, 'banana'? Mrs. Monkington: b, a, n... Gordon: SLOW DOWN! weeps --oohOOH, oohOOH-- sitting in waiting room Lady: Karen Snortleson? He's ready for you. gets up and begins walking Karen: I'm here for a job interview, because my husband has become a real brat. Lady: Uh huh. Karen: Staying home all day is not the life for me. Us women have to stick together. Lady: My boss isn't one for feminist propoganda, so try to keep it at a minimum. -- Karen: Dr. LaChillz, pleasure to meet you. Dr. LaChillz: Likewise, Mrs. Snortleson. Now, tell me - what makes you think you'll be a good rocket scientist? Karen: Let me tell you something, Private - can I call you Private? Private: No. Karen: There is no reason that a strong, powerful, independent woman like myself can't do everything any old man can do. In fact, the female species is in every way superior to the male race. Private: Do you have experience. Karen: In a word - no. But I'll tell you what I do have: an iron will that will stop at NOTHING-- Private: I've heard enough, Mrs. Snortleson. Don't call us, we'll call YOU. Karen: What? But, but... Private: Look, you're just not a good fit. Karen: You-- you can't do this to me. I'm an independent... I'm suing this ENTIRE COMPANY for MISOGYNY. Private: You have ZERO experience and you're applying to be a rocket scientist?! You are DELUSIONAL! Karen: You're dead to me, Bill. Private: SECURITY! --mMmm-- Buck: the phone I don't like your tone, Hagatha. That is EXTREMELY rude. You know what, if you don't appreciate what I do, then you don't get your bananas. Gordon: You tried your best, Buck. That's all anyone can ever do. phone rings Gordon: Hello? Hagatha, what a delight! 500 crates of bananas? Right away! You too. giggle Love you, bye. Gordon: Buck What a lovely woman. Buck: THAT WAS MY SALE. walks toward Monisha's desk Monisha: bored What do you want Matilda bleep Matilda: Well Monisha, I see you haven't lost your black sass. Monisha: CEO Matilda... I... what can I do for you? Buck: Crap, craaap... Gordon: It's CEO Bananomanoman. Buck: I know that, Gordon, now clam up. Matilda: Is Mr. Baboon available? STOP - the answer is yes. Gordon: HI MRS. BANANOMANOMAN! shocked Buck: Shhh! Shut up! Matilda: That is NOT my name. My name is Matilda Redford. Got it big boy? whimpering Gordon: She yelled at me. --oohOOH, oohOOH-- Mr. Baboon: What brings you to Monkeytown, Matilda? Matilda: Cut the crap, Baboon. I didn't become the CEO of Furria's largest banana distributor by making small talk. Mr. Baboon: Forgive me. Matilda: We're making budget cuts. My three-mansion lifestyle has simply outgrown my salary. Do you know what it's like to own only 3 mansions? Mr. Baboon: I... no... Matilda: Don't interrupt. You need to fire one of your employees by the end of the day, so I can absorb their salary. Mr. Baboon: Fire someone? I don't think we can afford... Matilda: Don't think, just do. I strongly recommend the, obese retard. Gordon: voice I eated a paper. Mr. Baboon: ... I have to ask, why did you change your name from Bananomanoman to Redford? stares daggers Matilda: Murphy and I divorced. Our marriage was unstable from the beginning. --hmmMMM, hmmMMM-- Gymbear: So why should you be the next trainer at Uber Fit Fitness punching RAH RAH RAH! Karen: As you can see from my sweatband, I have EXTENSIVE experience in the art of gymology. In fact I graduated from Bulging Muscles University with a PhD in fitness. Gymbear: No way, me too! Go dumbells, alright! laughs nervously Karen: Although I do believe that workout gyms are just sexist propoganda created by men to oppress women into chasing an impossible body type. Gymbear: Who doesn't? laugh Karen: So when can I start? Gymbear: Oh, actually you're not working here. Karen: Excuse me? Gymbear: We require our trainers to actually work out themselves, and it's pretty obvious that you don't give a crap about your body. Karen: What are you saying?! Gymbear: Well surely I'm not the first person to point out your weight. Karen: You're one to talk, Fatbear! Gymbear: My NAME is GYMBEAR. Why does everyone assume-- Karen: I'm out of here. Gymbear: Fine. FINE! pause, Karen leaves Gymbear: DON'T GET STUCK IN THE DOORw-ay... she's gone. ---- Buck: phone Hello, would you like to buy bananas from Monkey's Pride? Wait, REALLY?! Yeah I can do ten crates. Gordon: Who are you talking to? Buck: Let me just get your contact information... Gordon: Can I talk? Let me talk? Buck: I'M ON THE PHONE. Monisha: Buck, let him talk! steals the phone Gordon: I'll get your bananas to you likety split. HooWAAAAAAAY! up phone Buck: teeth THAT WAS MY SALE. Mr. Baboon: COOL IT, SNORTLESON. Listen up you fools - I've been given orders straight from CEO Matilda, that someone will be fired by the end of the day. Buck: WHAT THE CRAP Gordon: Waaaaaaaaah Monisha: beeep Mr. Baboon: SILENCE!! Monisha: So who's getting fired? Buck: Heh... come on... let's not ignore the obvious. Gordon: A-aah? Baboon looks at Monisha Monisha: Don't even THANGK about it! It would be extremely RACIST for you to fire the only black woman in this branch! Baboon: What about the unpaid janitor? to black woman Buck: LaShawna? She only 3/5ths counts. Gordon: ... I think I should be fiyawd. Monisha: Heavens no! Baboon: No, Gordon! Don't you ever say that again, you hear me? YOU HEAR ME? Buck: Actually I agree with him. walks in Monisha: Can I help you? Karen: Good thanks. Karen Snortleson to see the manager. Monisha: Right this way paleface. Buck: Karen? Karen: Buck! The crap are you doing here? Buck: I work here! Karen: Well I'm applying for a job. I finally took up the torch of womanly empowerment and I've decided to enter the workforce. Monisha: Mr. Baboon will see you now. --oohOOH, oohOOH-- Karen: As you can see from my resume-- Mr. Baboon: It just says... female. Karen: That's all it needs to say. For I am a powerful and independent woman and I can conquer any old job... scoffs especially at a dead end banana company. Baboon: ...this could work... Karen: What could work? Baboon: Uh I uh Karen: But why tell you when I can... show you click music Karen: Craaaap... okay, no music... ok wait I got it... girls run the world song dancing hypnotically --hmmMMM, hmmMMM-- Gordon: I hope Mr. Baboon keeps you. Buck: Wow, thanks Gordon... hesitation I hope he keeps you. Gordon: Really? Buck: I... I... Karen: You men think you run the world. Make room, boys. Woman coming through. Gordon: Gordon Pillsbury, nice to meet you. Karen: The pleasure is all yours. Buck: Ew EWWWW. Baboon hired you? Karen: Deal with it, Buck. I'm the head of the Female Relations department. What's that, you think women aren't suitable for corporate jobs? Sexist. SEXIST! starts beating Buck -- Karen: Monisha Stand strong sister. Fight the good fight. Monisha: Huh? Karen: You are an independent, powerful woman. Stay firm against the male regime... what was your name? Monisha: Monisha Brown. Karen: guffaws Brown? That's your name? Monisha: Yeah, what's it to ya? Karen: stammers I-I-uh- I... it's just a little ironic. Monisha: Oh, you think it's ironic? Why? Why's that? Karen: You chuckle you can't be serious... I mean you're bl-- stare Karen: You're bllllloated -- crap, craaap, that wasn't any better. Monisha: Do you want a bullet in your head, lady? Cause I got a loaded gun in my left flab and I ain't afraid to use it. -- Gordon: Kawen, you awe such a delight! I wish you were my mommy instead of my real mommy. Karen: I get that a lot. Buck: Karen... I think Baboon only hired you, so he could fire you. Karen: Excuse me? I was hired because of my independence, my can-do attitude, my womanly musk-- Mr. Baboon: Karen, my office -- NOW. -- Karen: You're... firing me? Mr. Baboon: Pack your things. You're done here. Karen: You... you can't... Mr. Baboon: Don't make me call security. and Buck looking in Karen: You can't fire me, because I quit. You are an insecure, sadistic LUNATIC bent on torturing your employees. And your butt it just the icing on the cake. of Baboon's butt Baboon: SECURITY!!! gets dragged out by security Karen: WOMAN POWAAAAAR! Gordon: Buck Your wife is simply delightful. --oohOOH, oohOOH-- of house at night Buck: I knew you'd never snag a job. Karen: For your information, I left. That office is such a boys' club. Buck: Women simply lack the mental capacity to support a job. Karen: Do you want a bullet in your head, Buck? Cause I got a loaded gun in my left flab and I ain't afraid to use it. rings Karen: Snortleson residence, head of the household speaking. Fatbear: Karen Snortleson? It's Gymbear. Karen: Gymbear... OH! Fatbear. Fatbear: Uggghhh. Listen, no-one else applied to be a fitness trainer... so looks like we're stuck with you. Karen: So... I got the job. Fatbear: When can you start? --credits--